Abandon the food:

Advice from the condiment queen

Beth Boscardin

 

So the family sits down to eat a nice meal of the All-American hotdogs and macaroni and cheese. They say grace, just like every nice little family does, then prepare to eat. Oh wait….

 

Little Billy needs his all important ketchup and mustard.

 

And Susie needs her pickles, salt and pepper.

 

And then Billy needs his Ranch. (What's mac-and-cheese with no ranch?

 

Pretty soon their naked, simple meal has been clothed with layers and layers of condiments. Why not just get rid of the food? Condiments are the new wave of the future.

 

There's absolutely nothing to lose.  Take ketchup, for example.

 

It has absolutely no fat and is made mostly of tomatoes; nothing could be healthier.

 

Heinz even comes in 3 different colors, offering huge opportunities for coloring and decorating even the plainest plate. Not to mention the little witticisms on the front of the bottles.

 

Speaking of dinnertime entertainment, a condiment meal without the traditional Parmesan cheese would mean a dinnertime without learning any Italian.

 

The green condiments offer a wonderful aroma, along with a striking taste and wide variety. Pickles come in at least eight different shapes and 15 different flavors.

 

No real food can boast actual protection. Condiments, on the other hand, like garlic, offer security from all those evil beings lurking in the night. 

 

Dear friends, abandon the tasteless, common filler found at most dinner tables. Join the push for ketchup, mustard and pickle meals.